Sweet Snow
by Shikibu
Summary: SHOUNEN-AI. No matter what happened, the sweet snow was always there. K x H [Discontinued.]
1. Black Cherry

*blinks* Oh, sorry, was I supposed to say something? This thing is overflowing with sap and fluff. The tiniest bit of angst possible snuck it's way in here, somehow. *is puzzled* Um, yeah. 

Hehe, almost forgot. -_-;; This one-shot takes place sometime before Kurama and Hiei enter the series. When they already know each other and are planning to take over the world—I mean, planning to steal the three item-thingies from Koenma-sama, and when Kurama's mother is in the hospital. 

WARNINGS: Small hints of **_SHOUNEN-AI. _** Boy/boy love. Call it what you will. If **_SHOUNEN-AI_** disturbs you, bye-bye. And the ever present warning of sucky-ness is here, too. 

DISCLAIMER: *sighs* And I quote: "If dreams were horses, peasants would ride." I'm dreaming, but I don't see any horses. *looks around and spots horse* Hey, you, horsie, get back here! *runs after horse*

__

Black Cherry

"Suuichi!"

"Suuichi, waaaait!"

"Let me get that book for you, Suuichi!"

"Did you like the poem I recited in 4th Period? I wrote it about _yooooouu…_"

I shook my head and sighed. The throng of girls around me stepped back, sensing my discomfort. 

"Oh, Suuichi, are you all right?" One girl ran forward and put her hand on my arm. 

"_Hai, hai_," I said with my best smile. "I'm just running late. My mother is expecting me," I explained and politely shook off the girl's hand. I walked away from the crowd of drooling girls, but a few ran after me. 

"It's so nice of you to go see your mother so often," one exclaimed. 

__

I owe her… 

"Don't you get lonely at home all alone, Suuichi? Would you like me to come visit you some time?"

__

But I'm not alone…

"Please, girls," I said with another false smile, "I'm in a hurry." Without waiting for any wails of protest to erupt from the crowd, I ran off towards the hospital. 

Not to my surprise, Hiei was waiting for me in a tree outside the building. I smiled up at him. "I'll only be half an hour or so," I told the Koorime. 

In true Hiei fashion, Hiei muttered a "Hn" and something about plans for our crime. My heart twisted slightly. It wasn't enough that I wasn't a human child, I also had to be a thief. Bu, then again, it was for a good cause—the best cause. 

I dumped my backpack down near the tree and pulled out some crumpled flowers to give to my mother. 

I walked into the hospital and up to the nurse who was standing behind a desk. "Hello, Suuichi," she greeted me with a smile. "Here to see your mother again?"

"Yes. How is she?" I asked tentatively. I always feared the worst for my mother. This whole thing was like some cruel punishment for stealing her true child. That _I_, the infamous Youko Kurama should be worrying about the likes of a ningen… Oh, how the demons would laugh. Oh, kami, how they would laugh… 

"I think she's sleeping at the moment, but you can see her anyway," the nurse replied, still smiling. 

I wondered how someone could smile in such an atmosphere—the stench of blood even seeped its way into the lobby. Smiling just didn't seem possible. "Thank you," I said politely and jogged off to my mother's room. 

Like the nurse had said, my mother was sleeping. She looked thinner and paler than she had yesterday; her cheekbones stood out, and her breathing was ragged. I walked silently across the room and put the flowers in the vase after taking out the old ones. 

I felt as if my mother might wilt any second, as I peered at the dying roses in my hands. I felt like she already was wilting. 

I only stayed at the hospital for twenty minutes. Shiori didn't wake up, and it was agonizing just to sit and watch her painful breathing in silence. Anyway, I told myself, Hiei was waiting. And sure enough, the fire demon was still sitting in the tree, staring ahead at seemingly nothing. 

"Hiei," I called softly and grabbed my school bag, stuffing the old flowers in them. "Let's go."

The fire demon jumped nimbly down from the tree and dusted off his pants. 

Silently, we began trudging towards my house. 

"How is she?" Hiei asked suddenly. 

I blinked and turned to him in puzzlement. _ Hiei_ was asking about my mother? "Better," I lied. "She looked healthier." 

Although I had the feeling that Hiei knew I was lying, he kept silent. "Will you still need…?" 

I nodded. "She deserves life more than me, Hiei. Besides, I've lived long enough. She's a good woman, despite what you might think."

"Youkos don't sacrifice themselves for others."

"But I'm not a youko anymore," I answered calmly. 

"Hn," Hiei grunted and dropped the subject. I was relieved; I wasn't really in the mood to discuss exactly _what_ I was. I wasn't even sure myself. A youko, but influenced by humans. Something in between the two, I guessed. It was too confusing. I had enough to worry about, already. And soon, it wouldn't matter _what_ I was—what I _had_ been.

It took us about half an hour to reach my home. I pulled out my keys and opened the door, following Hiei into the house. He walked directly into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I didn't bother to remind him to take his shoes off. 

"We need a third," the fire demon said curtly. 

I raised an eyebrow as I sat down opposite him. "What do you mean?"

"There are three artifacts. Only two of us," Hiei explained. 

"You can keep the other one," I murmured and looked down at my hands. "I won't be needing it…"

"Don't say that," Hiei growled. Was that—_concern_ in his voice? 

I looked up at the demon in surprise. "You're right. You wouldn't be interested in eating souls anyway."

"And we'll need a third member to distract the guards," Hiei added. 

"H'm," I agreed thoughtfully. "Well, who are the best of the best?"

"Us."

I sighed. Typical Hiei. "Why don't we just find a rather slow demon who knows how to fight and recruit him?" I suggested. 

"Where?" Hiei asked challengingly. 

"Have you got any better ideas?" I snapped angrily. There was no point in this. I knew Hiei could find an agreeable partner with a moment's notice. Every well-known thief in Makai would probably be only too happy to comply with Hiei's terms. And besides, I had a history test the next day. 

The fire demon remained silent. 

"As I was saying, you could probably find the type we need in some forlorn alley in Makai… Or we could 'release' one from prison."

"Hn." Hiei frowned in thought. "I'll see what I can find." 

__

You probably won't have to look far, I thought dryly, but smiled. "Problem solved." I rose and walked over to the refrigerator. "Want some ice cream?" I asked over my shoulder.

Hiei blinked. "No. Your ningen food is disgusting," he growled. 

"Really, Hiei, you should try it," I protested. 

He just shook his head defiantly. 

"Fine," I sighed and pulled a container of "Black Cherry" ice cream out of the 'fridge. I took a spoon out of a drawer and scooped some ice cream into a bowl. 

As I sat back down at the table, Hiei leaned over and looked at my snack. He grimaced. 

"Oh, it's not _that_ bad," I laughed and sucked on a spoonful of the dessert, twirling my tongue around the spoon. 

"What does it taste like?" Hiei asked reluctantly. I could see that I had caught his interest. Whether because of my "tongue tricks" or pure curiosity, though, I did not know. 

I thought about the question for a moment, trying to think of something the little fire demon could relate to. "Snow," I answered slowly. "Sugary snow. And then there are lots of different flavours, like mint or…or peanuts." I stared at Hiei. "Does that make any sense?"

Hiei appeared puzzled, and I had to hide a small smile at the look. It was rather…cute. 

"Want some?" I offered, pushing the bowl towards the confused fire demon. 

"Hn." 

I shrugged, but left the bowl in the centre of the table. I took a binder out of my backpack and began on my science assignment. Botany was the easiest class I had ever taken. Hiei, I noticed, continued to glare at the bowl cautiously. I wondered, all of a sudden, why he was still here; he usually left as soon as we had discussed our latest plans. I didn't mind at all, though. In fact, I enjoyed the quite company of the Forbidden Child. 

I don't know when I first realized I was attracted to Hiei, but the thought that I could love gave me comfort. I could be a lair, a thief, and a murderer, but I could still love. I guess I really had turned into a human. And although I was sure that Hiei couldn't possibly love me back, I didn't mind…

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard Hiei emit a small purr of pleasure. I looked up to see him eating a scoop of ice cream. 

"Well…?" I asked, smiling slightly. 

"Good," the fire demon admitted, taking another bite. 

My smile evolved into a full-fledged grin as I watched Hiei quickly devour the ice cream. "Want some more?"

Hiei nodded as I took the bowl from him. "What's it called?" he asked.

I remained silent as I refilled the bowl. 

The fire demon took it back from me, his hands brushing mine. It must have been my imagination, but I thought Hiei blushed, too, at the light contact. 

My hands suddenly seemed to have a mind of their own. No matter how many times I told myself to let go, I couldn't. And surprisingly, Hiei didn't protest. Encouraged, I leaned forward and ran my hand along his smooth cheek. "Sweet snow…" I murmured softly, my breath washing over the fire demon's face. "It's called sweet snow…" He moved closer to me, our mouths just millimeters away… 

As if just realizing exactly how close we were, Hiei pulled back, taking the bowl with him. I smiled sadly and sat down, expecting Hiei either to behead me or leave. But he did neither. He just sat there, staring at me with wide crimson eyes, and eating his "sweet snow."

And I immediately knew that saving my mother was going to be harder than I had previously thought.

Damn it. 

Translations:

Hai: yes (Japanese)

My only justification for the above: I got bored.

Uh, uh, yeah… *is confuzzled* This thing was completely random. I guess I was just puzzling over how—and why—Hiei likes ice cream so much in fanfics, especially. Although there wasn't any kissin' or huggin', fluff is always nice. ^___^ 

I have no other interesting or uninteresting thoughts, except I still and (most likely) will always think my work is crap. One last thought: REVIEW!!!


	2. Vanilla

Hiya, all you people out there who reading this! Um, _Sweet Snow_ was really only supposed to be a one-shot, but enough people convinced me that there should be a sequel, so I got bored and…um…wrote one. Yeah. *looks around nervously* So…er…enjoy!

WARNING: As usual, this contains **_SHOUNEN-AI_**. Boy/boy love. Deal with it. Or, if the thought makes you gag, now would be the appropriate time to press the "back" button and forget you ever saw this fic. Second on the list, this seriously reeks. And although some think otherwise, I still believe that my work is crap. Just wanted to remind you. 

DISCLAIMER: So while my friends are laying back and watching all my beautiful _Yu Yu Hakusho_ episodes, I am busy sitting here writing that I don't own the thing. This world is so not fair. No, seriously, my friends are really in the next room forgetting I exist and just sitting there so they can watch my DVDs. *growls* But—yeah, that's another story and it has nothing to do with K/H goodness. Hehe. 

__

Vanilla

Apparently, Hiei had successfully found a third member for our team. His name, I had gathered, was Gouki and he was a complete idiot. He would do anything we said, as long as we seemed powerful enough rip him to shreds. Or, at least, that's what Hiei had told me. 

We walked in silence through the woods, heading for a clearing where I would meet Gouki. I shrugged the weight of my backpack to my left shoulder; Hiei had found me right after school had ended. I hadn't even had time to go visit my mother. 

Finally, I found myself in a dark clearing. It reminded me slightly of a haunted forest, one of the typical settings for human fairy tales. Hiei leaned back comfortably against a nearby tree and crossed him arms, staring intently at a towering shadow that was standing at the opposite end of the clearing. _He must be Gouki_, I guessed as the figure moved forward. He was gigantic, but size was probably the only positive attribute he possessed. His small pupils held no sign of intelligence whatsoever.

"Gouki," Hiei introduced, "Kurama." He inclined his head slightly in my direction. 

The giant grinned stupidly. "This is Kurama, you say? How pathetic!" He sneered indignantly. "You mean that after being chased by the Hunter, you've come to survive by possessing this tasty human!? Show me your original form! Otherwise, I'll never believe it!" The idiot then proceeded to stick his middle finger up in my face. I suddenly developed a strong dislike for the demon. 

"I can't do that," I replied calmly. "It's closer to say that we've merged together than that I'm possessing him. So while I am Kurama, I am also Suuichi Minamino."

"Don't make me laugh! This job has us stealing the treasures of the Spirit Realm! Do you think things are going to go right if we're teamed up with this bastard? Huh, Hiei?" 

Hiei smirked coolly. "Why don't you test him out for yourself to see whether of not he has any skills, Gouki?"

I sighed. This really was a waste of my time. I had to visit my mother, and I had homework to do. There was no time for me to fool around, showing some pathetic demon that I was really Youko Kurama in disguise. 

Gouki's grin widened, revealing all of his yellow teeth. "That's a good idea. I haven't seen any blood recently, and all. So, Kurama-san?" he taunted. 

"It's true, I don't have the same degree of youki as I had earlier. However, I found myself someone to protect in place of it. If it's for those people, then I can become even stronger than before." I stopped as memories of Shiori flooded my mind. …She was why I was here in the first place… "Care to try?" I pulled a rose out from beneath my mane of red hair. 

"This is ridiculous!" Gouki muttered. 

__

Yes, this is ridiculous, I agreed. _It's getting rather tiresome._ "Rose Whip!" I yelled and cut down every tree that surrounded the clearing in three seconds. I jumped over Gouki and landed gracefully behind him, not bothering to turn around and watch a look of astonishment replace a look of scorn. I heard all the trees fall to the ground simultaneously, the sound resounding loudly in the silent air. 

"Hm," Hiei murmured, content with my performance. 

"I—I was joking! Let's just get along with each other!" Gouki stuttered. 

I slowly turned around and looked at the trembling demon, satisfied with my work, too. "Now," I said, shifting my backpack again, "I have more important things to attend to."

"But—but—what about…?" Gouki trailed off. 

Sighing, I turned back to look at the giant. "Hiei and I will tell you when."

"But—but—what do I do in the mean time?" This demon really was an idiot. 

"Go live in an alley somewhere," I ordered impatiently. When Gouki had remained silent for at least five seconds, I walked into the forest again, back towards the city…and my mother. I heard the wind whirl around me and a flash of black was suddenly standing beside me. 

I smiled gently down at the half-Koorime, then frowned as Gouki called after us, "What's an alley?"

"Just let him stay there," Hiei said. 

"Yes, that's exactly what I was planning," I agreed. 

"So?" the fire demon demanded after a few minutes of silence. 

"So what?" I asked, confused. 

"Will he do?"

I nodded. "Yes, I think so. He's much too stupid to do anything by himself. And I'm guessing he has the needed strength, by his build. Yes…" I trailed off, considering. "I think he will do wonderfully. You found the perfect demon, Hiei, perfect." I glanced sideways at the small fire demon. It was too dark to see clearly, but I thought he was blushing. 

"Hn."

We came to the end of the forest and started walking on the main sidewalk towards the hospital. Worriedly, I looked at my watch. Damn. Visiting hours at the hospital were over by now. My stomach twisted in knots as I realized that all I could do until tomorrow was pray that my mother was all right. _Damn_, I repeated.

"What?" Hiei asked in an irritated tone, as if sensing that something was wrong. 

The exasperated voice was simply a cover-up, I knew that much. But—was Hiei asking what was wrong? _Impossible_, I told myself. Hiei only cared that about my stealth and my ability to pick locks. Although… I remembered with a small smile the one time Hiei had asked about my mother.

"Fox?" Hiei asked, looking at me curiously. 

"Oh, _gomen,_ Hiei," I apologized as I realized that I had stopped walking. "The—the hospital is closed by now. I'm going home, but you can come if you want." I smiled. "I bought more sweet snow."

The half-Koorime simply nodded and followed me. It was impossible to tell if the mere thought of being with me had attracted him, or if it had been the promise of "sweet snow." I wished it was the former, but my hopes were not high.

Dead sakura blossoms littered the sidewalk, crunching beneath my feet, as I neared my house. Wait… _My_ feet? I looked up from the ground and saw that Hiei was waiting impatiently at the doorstep of my home. I smiled inwardly. I never would have guessed that Hiei had remembered where I lived. The fire demon was frowning and tapping his foot impatiently. 

"Sorry," I apologized, a small mocking undertone in my voice. I fished the key to the house out of my backpack and opened the door. Closing the door behind me, I flicked on the lights and slipped my shoes off.

Hiei followed me into the kitchen expectantly. I took out a container of vanilla ice cream, but before I could scoop some into a bowl, he simply grabbed the dish off the counter and sat down at the kitchen table. 

"Don't you want a spoon?" I asked as Hiei began to eat straight from the bowl.

The little fire demon looked at me strangely. "A spoon?" he echoed. 

I couldn't help but smile. "This," I explained and pulled out a spoon from a drawer, "is a spoon."

"Hn," Hiei muttered. "What does it do?"

"You eat with it. Instead of using your fingers." I pointed at Hiei's ice cream-coated hands. 

"It looks like a stick with a ball on the end to me," he said. 

I sighed and sat down next to Hiei, spoon still in hand. "Never mind." He looked down at the spoon suspiciously, as if it might come to life and attack him any second. "It's not going to hurt you, Hiei," I promised. 

"Hn." He grabbed the spoon and continued to eat the ice cream. I stared at the table, worrying about my mother too much to concentrate on my homework. Worrying about my mother and—well, other…things. 

"See? Isn't it easier this way?" I asked, referring to the spoon. 

Reluctantly, Hiei nodded. 

I grinned and leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes. Images of Shiori floated around in my mind. I suddenly realized that most of my memories of her were sad, gloomy. What about the happy times? And then I thought, _What if there _were_ no "happy times"?_

Had I caused her unhappiness? Yes, I was fairly sure I had. _Just like you caused her disease,_ a voice in my head reminded me. It must have been hard, raising a child who thought he was superior to his own parents. The stress, the pain, the annoyance…the heartbreak. To know your child didn't look up to you, but rather looked down at you. _I must have caused her sickness_, I thought, _I must have._

What else could have caused it? She had shown no signs of any serious conditions before I was "born." _So basically, I am simply righting my wrong._ By joining Hiei and Gouki, I was just reverting everything to the way it was before. Of course, there would be one difference after I had used the Mirror of Utter Dark. There would not be a Suuichi Minamino anymore. 

For a split second, I considered not going through with it. Not bothering to save my mother, but instead, not using the mirror at all. Or maybe I would make another wish, a wish that might save— _No,_ I reprimanded myself. _No. _I had to be strict with myself. My mother deserved this more than anyone else did…

__

Or does she? a traitorous voice in my head challenged. 

__

No! I almost cried out loud. Just once, just once, and that voice could corrupt me. Persuade me to do what…my old self would have done. My youko instincts had been kicking in lately, and, frankly, I was afraid. Afraid that I would act irrational, selfish. Afraid that I would do something I would regret. Like—

__

Stop it! I screamed at myself and gripped my head tightly with my clammy hands. 

__

But you know you want to.

No, no, go away… I pleaded silently.

"Kurama?" Hiei's voice broke in.

I looked up, surprised. Hiei was still here? And the ice cream was finished. I blinked rapidly. 

"What—happened?" the fire demon asked haltingly. I could tell it was painful for him to show even that sliver of emotion, and I was grateful for it. 

"N—nothing, Hiei," I answered shakily with what I hoped was a convincing smile. "I'm fine." I smoothed out my hair nervously. 

Hiei stared at me in complete awe. He reached forward slightly, hesitantly, and touched a stray strand of my hair. I fell forward a bit in shock, steadying myself by grabbing the table. Damn gravity. The fire demon blinked. I stuttered for something to say, but, oh, Inari…

Deftly, Hiei pushed the strand of hair behind my ear. "It's better like that," he said softly. 

"What?" I questioned, not moving an inch. I was terrified that if I stirred, this dream would disappear. 

"Your hair," Hiei explained in a whisper. "It used to be short."

I remained silent. 

"It's better long."

I closed my eyes to steady my breathing, and when I opened them a moment later, Hiei was gone. 

Translations

Gomen: sorry (Japanese) 

Okay, okay, sue me. It could just be me, but I am under the impression that I made Hiei act a bit…OC?? Anyone have any opinions on the subject? *sighs* Ack, well…

Oh, yes, one comment on the conversation at the beginning between Gouki, Hiei, and Kurama. It's directly translated from the Japanese version of _Yu Yu Hakusho_, not the English dubs. That's why it's a bit messed up. 0.o But I wanted to keep it as authentic as possible. So, yeah. 

Um, anyone suddenly feeling the need for a _third_ chapter/second sequel? This one really didn't do much, except—well, now that I think about it, it didn't do anything at all. -_-;;; So, um, if enough people want another sequel, I guess I could try. *considers* Or maybe you're so phased out by how sucky this 'un was, you're all scared to read another? Most likely. *nods*

You're goal in the next five minutes or so: to convince me that my work doesn't suck, but only if you believe it!!! Now, how do you do that, you ask? By… REVIEWIN'!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chocolate

By popular demand (and my not-so-trusty judgment) I have written a sequel to the sequel to the first chapter of this should-have-been one-shot. Are you still with me? *crowd cheers* Good. Not sure what else to say… This one, I guess, is a bit darker/deeper than the other two. *shrugs* Dunno. I wrote it while watching _Rurouni Kenshin_, it's not my fault!

Who was it, **Blood Roses** asked for chocolate next, so viola! Chocolate sweet snow. ^___^

WARNINGS: If you haven't gotten the idea that this is **_SHOUNEN-AI_** by now, I officially declare you hopeless. It was in the summary, it was in Chapter 1, it was in Chapter 2, and now it's in Chapter 3. But, just for the slower ones, I will define **_SHOUNEN-AI_** anyway. Boy/boy love. Everyone good with that? *crowd nods* Great, let's get a move on. Now, usually I would put my suckiness warning here, but I have been threatened, under penalty of death, not to do so. Although this one really is—*voice is muffled* Um, anyway, you get the idea. 

DISCLAIMER: It's so…so…painful. *breaks down* I—I don't own _Yu Yu Hakusho_ or any of the characters within. Shock, isn't it? -_^

__

Chocolate 

I smiled grimly in the darkness. 

We had done it. We had stolen the three most precious artifacts in all of the Spirit World. And I felt awful about it. Sighing, I sat down on the moist grass and leaned back against a tree. Hiei and I were at our usual meeting place again; we had just returned from Rekai. 

The Mirror of Utter Dark was ice cold as I outlined the rim. _How could something so small hold so much power_? I wondered silently. My whole life now revolved around the object in my hands. 

I felt crimson eyes burning into my face and I looked up, but Hiei was too swift: he had already jumped into a tree nearby. 

"What are we waiting for?" I asked softly. As usual, I had things to do. Not only did I have a history project due next Wednesday, but it was already two o'clock in the morning. I was getting impatient. 

"Gouki," the fire demon answered abruptly. 

__

Of course, I thought sourly. _Who else would it be?_ "If he's not back in—" I looked at my watch, "—five minutes, I'm leaving." Besides, I already knew what Hiei wanted to tell Gouki. We had to meet back here on Thursday.

"Hn."

There was a rustle in the forest and Gouki stomped into the clearing, carrying seven beer bottles in his right hand. My stomach churned in disgust. Did Gouki even know what beer _was_? "Hehe, guys," stuttered the idiot, "look what I found!" He held up a beer bottle as if it was a golden trophy. 

"That's very nice, Gouki, you found something to play with," Hiei said sarcastically. 

Gouki shook his head. "It's some ningen thing they drink. Good, too. Just can't remember what it's called…"

I stood up and wiped the grass off my pants. "It's called beer. And it's vulgar." I picked the mirror up off the ground. "I'm leaving now." The trees closed around me as I left Gouki and Hiei behind in the clearing. 

I wasn't in the mood to get drunk. 

Four minutes to three. It was a Friday night, so there was no real need for me to go to sleep, but I was tired. "Ignorance is bliss", the saying went. Sleep, I had discovered at an early age, was ignorance. I wanted desperately to sleep. But I couldn't. Something—I wasn't sure what—was making me restless.

I lay in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling blindly. The Mirror of Utter Dark was in the bottom drawer of my desk. I was tempted to pull it out and save my mother right then. _Or do something else._ I banished the thought as fast as it had entered my mind. 

Youko had to stay under control. I couldn't let him out. I wouldn't. 

Sighing, I sat up and went to my desk, pulling out the mirror from my drawer. I stared down into the crystal clear surface. It showed my reflection, just like an ordinary mirror. Green eyes, pale skin, hollow cheeks—had I been eating enough lately?—, long red hair. Hiei had said once that he liked my hair. Had actually happened, or had it simply been a dream? 

Something tapped against my window. I tore my gaze away from my reflection and smiled. Who else would it be at this hour besides the little fire demon? I opened the window and Hiei clambered in. 

"Would you like some sweet snow?" I asked and closed the window. Strange, it wasn't raining. What was Hiei doing here?

"Hn."

My smile widened. "Come downstairs." The half-Koorime trailed behind me down to the first floor and into the kitchen. I flicked the lights on and took a container of plain chocolate ice cream out of the refrigerator. 

As usual, Hiei grabbed the ice cream from right under my nose. This time, at least, he took the spoon I offered him, as well. 

"Where is Gouki?" I asked once we sat down. 

The fire demon shrugged. "Probably where I left him."

"Hm…" I muttered absently. 

We lapsed into friendly silence. Hiei was eating his "sweet snow", and I was simply gazing off into the dark corners of the room. I looked back at Hiei, and surprisingly, he hadn't eaten much of the ice cream. _In fact_, I noticed suddenly, _he seems tense._ I mentally shook my head. _No, I must be imagining things again. _

…More silence…

Something was wrong. 

"Did something happen, Hiei?" I asked with concern. "Are you all right?"

The fire demon hesitated for a moment or two, and then said in an anguished voice, "Don't do it."

"_Nani_?" My brow furrowed in confusion. "Don't do what?"

"The mirror."

Was Hiei worried about me? _It can't be! And yet… _I remained silent, thinking. It wasn't the first time the thought of not using the Mirror of Utter Dark to save my mother had passed through my mind—more like the millionth. But I wouldn't succumb. "I have to," I said aloud, looking in any direction except straight at the half-Koorime.

"Weak ningen," Hiei sneered. "This body really _has_ changed you. Emotions are a weakness. They serve simply as a crutch for those who are not strong enough to carry their own weight."

"I would save Shiori no matter what form I am in," I objected. I knew what Hiei was doing, though. He was covering up his own feelings with cold indifference and harsh words. It used to work, but I had learned to see through his disguise. 

"No. Youko Kurama wouldn't."

I breathed in deeply, trying to keep my anger at bay. We had discussed the topic before, and I simply wasn't in the mood to talk about my split personality at 3:37 A.M. "I'm not just Youko Kurama though, am I?"

Hiei said nothing, but his eyes spoke for his mouth. I had never realized how much suffering and sorrow those crimson orbs held until that moment. I suddenly wanted to grab the fire demon and hold him tightly, make the pain go away. _And maybe I can do that, if I don't use the mirror. Maybe, just maybe…_ But Hiei couldn't love. He was a youkai. He didn't know how. 

"Do you really understand what happened when I came to Ningenkai?" I challenged. Without waiting for an answer, I continued. "When I entered Shiori's womb, I killed neither the unborn Suuichi Minamino, nor Youko Kurama. I merged. I'm both of them. The Suuichi Minamino that would have been, and the Youko Kurama that supposedly was hunted down and slaughtered. I—I'm someone in between. And I'll probably never fully be Youko again, even after I leave this human form. Yet I'll never truly be Suuichi Minamino, either, no matter how long I stay in this body. I have my own personality and my own self, but… I'm sure that if someone divided me in half, one side of me would be a human and the other half would be a demon. Sometimes part of me wants to do one thing, while the other part wants to do the opposite." I thought of several occasions when I had had the urge to do certain…activities that I definitely would have regretted. "And when I fight within myself, so to speak, it's up to me, the one you see now, to decide what to do; there are really three of me. In this case, with the Mirror of Utter Dark, I've made my choice. I made my choice a long time ago." 

"Hn," Hiei muttered. "You can change your mind. Use the mirror for something else, Kurama. Join me and use the mirror wisely. Don't waste it on some worthless ningen. Don't—don't—don't…"

This sudden show of emotion was very uncharacteristic. The fire demon was not one who begged. I thought that maybe Hiei had had some of the beer Gouki had shown us. It was a stupid guess, and I dismissed it instantly. _Of course Hiei isn't drunk, _baka_._

"Do you know what the price is for using the Mirror of Utter Dark?" I questioned quietly. 

"Yes," he answered, equally soft. "Life."

I nodded.

"Don't do it," the fire demon repeated in a strangled voice. He was like a broken record, repeating the same line over and over and over again. 

"And what do you suggest I do instead?" I lashed out, finally bursting. "Watch one of the only people I have ever cared about die?" I shook my head and kept the rest of my anger bottled up. "No, Hiei. Thank you…but no."

"You're too soft."

I smiled irnoically. "I know." 

"It'll kill you. Your stupid ningen emotions will be the end of you."

Ignoring Hiei's harsh words, I lost myself in thought. "Why?" I asked eventually. "Why do you care?"

"Because things…happen…sometimes…" Hiei fidgeted uncomfortably.

"What 'things'?" My voice was unnaturally calm, but my heart-rate sped up greatly. I needed to know. Inari, I needed to know…

"Things—things I've never…thought of before." It was amazing. In an instant, Hiei had transformed from a cold-hearted fire demon into a small, confused child. 

"Like what?" I knew I was being cruel, but I needed an answer, a straight answer. The deep red blush that graced his cheeks was painfully obvious.

"Things," the half-Koorime answered evasively, looking at the floor.

"What?" I asked gently. "Hiei, it will be much easier if you just tell me." I covered his clenched fist with my hand, stroking it comfortably. At least, I hoped it was comforting.

He looked down at our hands, then up at me, eyes wide with fear. The small half-Koorime resembled a caged lion: trapped, but dying to be free. He glanced back at our hands again, and once more up at me. No words escaped his lips, but his eyes said, _Weak. Like you._

On impulse, I pulled the fire demon forward and embraced him tightly. He stiffened visibly, but did not pull back. I felt something touch my hair. It was as light as a feather, but it was the best feeling in the world. We were so close, so close, so close— Realization hit me like a blinding light. It didn't matter whether Hiei loved me or not. Soon I would be dead, anyway. In fact, it would be better if I stayed cold and distant. To find something and then have it taken away so soon… I wouldn't do that to Hiei. I wouldn't do that to myself. 

"Don't do it," Hiei whispered into my shoulder. 

I didn't answer. But neither did I pull away. 

Translations

Nani: what (Japanese)

Baka: idiot (Japanese)

I told you it was stranger and deeper and more messed up. 0.o And no, this isn't the end. As long as musie here cooperates. Hehe. Does anyone get exactly what I meant about Hiei being weak at the end? Um, yeah… My perception of Kurama is whacked. 

Was Hiei drunk? You decide. *winks and grins wickedly*

What else? *ponders* Um, anyone have any thoughts on any particular ice cream flavour for next chapter? Just wonderin'. 

Everyone got more OOC, go figure. *mutters* I am bad. Very bad…

Thoughts? Questions? The need to do something? REVIEW!!!!!!!


	4. Strawberry

*blinks* Oro? I–I have 61 reviews... O.O How...how...? **_THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, (AND EVEN THOSE WHO DIDN'T)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _**I live off feedback and I feel so special-ful now!!! **_YAY!!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIXTY-ONE!!!!_** That's amazing... **_THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

*clears throat* And the ice cream flavour with the most votes is... *drumroll* ...strawberry! So that's this chapter. Thankies so much for suggesting flavours, you people make my life so much easier. ^^

Italics at the very beginning of this chapter mean flashback. 

WARNING: Please, _please_ say you understand that this story is **_SHOUNEN-AI_**. Tell me it's true. I dun even know why I am putting this warning up any more. Oh well. This story suggests romantic potential between to male species. Dun like, dun read. Moving on... Sucky-ness. That is all I have to say. And corny-ness. That too. 

DISCLAIMER: I own _Yu Yu Hakusho_ and the characters within. Yukina finally admitted that she is in love with Karasu. Hiei decided to abandon his katana. Kuwabara married his kitten. No, okay, that's taking it too far. I don't own _Yu Yu Hakusho._ Hiei and Kurama would already be a couple if I did. 

__

Strawberry

"Kurama! Wait!"

Step. 

Step. 

Step. 

Just keep on walking. 

"You said you wouldn't do it!"

It had been a lie...

I shook my head, pushing all thoughts of a certain fire demon to the back of my mind. The Spirit Detective—what was his name? Yusuke?—was supposed to meet me outside the City Hospital momentarily. Last night, I had asked him telepathically to come. And I hoped he did, because I wanted to show him my mother. Maybe he would understand. 

"What? If it isn't the hospital!" I turned my head as a boy with slicked-back ebony hair and ordinary brown eyes walked towards me, a confused expression on his face. _Yusuke_, I guessed. 

"I've been waiting," I murmured. 

Yusuke looked at me strangely. "Um, exactly what are we doing in front of the hospital?"

"You'll see." I opened the glass door to the hospital and automatically started towards Shiori's room. The Spirit Detective followed behind me, still puzzled. 

"Um, Kurama…?"

"Please, call me 'Suuichi'."

"Suuichi?" Yusuke said the name awkwardly. "But I thought your name was Kurama."

"It is."

"Then why do I have to call you Suuichi?" 

Ignoring Yusuke's question, I halted in front of Room 501. My mother's room. Quietly, I opened the door and hurried over to my mother's side. She blinked tiredly and murmured, "Suuichi?" He gaze slipped past me and she stared at Yusuke. "My…This is a rare treat, for you to bring a friend along." She struggled to sit up, clutching the stark white sheets. 

"It's okay, Mom. Lie back down." I grabbed Shiori's hand tightly and gently pushed her back against her bed. 

" 'Mom'…?" I heard Yusuke mutter in the background. He would know soon enough. 

"I'm feeling pretty good today," Shiori whispered. I smiled, hoping that it might actually be true. Maybe she was feeling better. Maybe she would recover. Maybe I would be able to use the Mirror of Utter Dark for something else. Maybe everything would be all right. Her cheeks _did_ have a bit more colour in them, I noticed.

Ironically, a few hours later I found myself on the rooftop with Yusuke by my side. Shiori was going to die, the doctor had said. If I didn't do something. And she had said she was feeling better. She had lied. Just like I had lied...

"You're gonna use the Mirror!?" Yusuke asked in amazement. 

Absently, I nodded. "Yeah."

"In order to get your wish granted, I heard you gotta offer up something. Do you know what it is?" 

"My life." Was that my voice? It sounded so cold, so detached… Just like I wanted it to sound. I was a robot. I didn't even think anymore. I just took the mirror out from my pocket and put it on the ground, kneeling on the ground to it. "Mirror of Utter Dark, receive the light of the moon and awaken! Display your power and reflect my desire on your surface!" 

__

This is the only way.

The black in the mirror faded and an image began to come into view. Everything else around me was gone; there was just the mirror and me. And...Hiei? Oh, Kami! That couldn't be true. It was so...so…hopeless; I was so hopeless. Hiei. My greatest desire was Hiei. That's what the mirror showed. That's what I knew was true. And yet, I blinked and the picture of the fire demon was gone. In its place was my mother. It had just been my imagination. Hiei had just been my imagination. It _had_ to be. I wanted to save my mother more than anything else...didn't I? 

"A lifetime of happiness for this woman. Is that your desire?" the mirror asked. 

"It is." 

__

No, it' isn't...

Be quite!

"Hey, aren't you making a mistake!? Even if she is saved, if you die, it won't amount to anything!" Yusuke shouted as a black whirlwind began to form around the mirror. Didn't he understand? My wish was for the happiness of my mother. When I died, she would be happy. 

Everything was so dark. 

__

Hiei…

"This is the only way!" I told the Spirit Detective. I opened my mouth to say more, but the mirror interrupted me.

"To fulfill this wish, it means I must have your life. Are you sure this is all right?" the mirror said. 

I suddenly had the urge to laugh. _Of course it's not all right! How do you think it _could_ be all right? _What a bizarre question.

"If it will save her life..." I heard myself say. It was as if I had programmed myself to save my mother's life, no matter what my mind said. My voice was following it's own orders. I was torn. 

And this was all happening too fast. 

"Very well then, as you wish, I shall grant your desire!" the voice in the mirror declared loudly. 

__

My...desire? Which desire? Hiei or my mother? My mother. She would be saved... Then what about Hiei? "Farewell, Mom!" I whispered. But I had wanted to say, "Hiei". Suddenly, I felt weak. As if the life was being drained out of me. Oh, wait...the life _was_ being drained out of me. Everything turned as dark as a moonless sky. 

My vision came back. Yusuke was reaching forward towards the mirror. _What are you doing? _Had I said that aloud...?

"Hey, Mirror, I'm giving you my life! By doing this, you don't have to take his entire life to grant his wish, right!?" Yusuke was obviously one of the most foolish people I had ever met.

"What are you thinking!?" I shouted above the roar of the mirror. _This is wrong. All wrong._

"The sight of a mother's crying face after losing her son—it's unbearable! There is nothing more discomforting!" He spoke as if he had experienced the pain first-hand. As if he knew...

But nobody knew. Nobody could know...

Was it just my imagination again, or was Hiei nearby?

She was going to recover. She was going to recover. And I was alive. I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Nothing—_nothing_ was going to make me move from my seat. I was going to stay by Shiori's side all night, all day, to make sure she recovered properly. 

But it wasn't just that. I felt worse, much worse. Saving my human mother hadn't been my so-called "greatest desire". It made me feel guilty, to know that I cared about a fire demon I had met five months ago more than I cared about the woman who had raised me for fifteen years. 

I remembered what I had said to Hiei the last time he had come to my house. That there were really three Kuramas. I felt that that was true now more than ever. The Suuichi in me had wanted to save my mother, the youko in me had craved Hiei, and me, the mixture of them both— There, that was what troubled me the most. I didn't know who I wanted more: Hiei or Shiori. I should care about Shiori's health more, I knew. That was the "correct" answer. But I didn't know if it was the true one. I just...didn't know. 

That made me feel helpless. I had no control over the situation. The answer lurked somewhere deep inside me, but I wouldn't pull it out of hiding. I couldn't. I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid of the truth. 

__

Damn it! Why did this have to be so complicated? I had thought it would be easy. Join Hiei, steal the Mirror of Utter Dark, save my mother, and die. What had I done wrong? But I already knew the answer. I had fallen in love. 

"Suuichi-kun?" A nurse came up behind me, holding a pint of ice cream in her hands. "Would you like it?" she offered, referring the ice cream. 

"_Hai, arigato,_" I replied and took the ice cream. The nurse smiled at me and left the room quietly. I stared down at the cup in my hands. Hiei liked ice cream. But he called it "sweet snow", which I thought sounded better. Although I would probably never see Hiei again. And even if I did—

"Excuse me, may I help you?" I heard a nurse say in the hallway. 

"Where's Kurama?" I sat bold upright. That was Hiei's voice. What was he doing here?

"K—Kurama? I'm sorry, but there is no one named Kurama here," the nurse explained. 

"Suuichi. Minamino." The bitterness in his voice was obvious. Did he hate my human name—or did he hate me?

"Oh, why didn't you say so? Follow me." Footsteps came closer and closer. I tightened my grip on the ice cream, my knuckles turning white. I stared ahead at the opposite wall with unseeing eyes. 

"Suuichi-kun? A friend of yours came to visit." The door closed behind the nurse as she left. 

"Hiei?" I shifted my gaze to the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at the fire demon. To know exactly what his eyes said¼

"Hn." 

I smiled. He didn't _seem_ more upset than usual. Just the same, ordinary Hiei, standing my by side. I looked up, but his hair shadowed his crimson eyes. "Want some?" I offered the ice cream to the youkai. "It's strawberry flavoured."

Hiei took the ice cream container from me and tasted it gingerly. "It tastes disgusting." He let the ice cream drop to the floor. "Just like you."

"...What?" I blinked in confusion. 

The fire demon looked up, his eyes large and sparkling. My breath caught in my throat. They were beautiful, shining brightly¼but overflowing with hate. For me. I expected a rush of pain, yet I didn't feel anything. Hiei...he hated me. _Shouldn't I feel...something?_ So where was the hurt? Where were the tears?

"You're disgusting, Kurama. You promised—you said you wouldn't do it. But you did, anyway. You lied to me."

Numb. I was completely dazed. What was Hiei saying? "I never promised anything, Hiei. You knew I had to use the Mirror to save my mother. I told you. Why...?"

The half-Koorime looked away angrily. "You could have…done something. You didn't have to use the Mirror. What's the life of a worthless ningen to you?"

"I've told you already, Hiei, I owe her! I owe her more now than ever." 

The ice cream was melting...

"You could have stopped me. Why—why did you have to make it hurt?"

So I had caused Hiei pain. Damn it. Why hadn't I died? Why did Yusuke have to act so...noble? Why couldn't he just have let me end my life? 

"Kurama, answer me!" the fire demon growled loudly. 

I hadn't realized I had hurt him, too. I had been so selfish, only worrying about my pain and myself. But what about Hiei? I had hurt him, too. More than I knew, apparently. Yes, I could have stopped him. He had opened up to me, and I had made him suffer. I should have stopped him. I should have told him it was useless—to love me. If I had been thinking, I would have shattered all his hopes. It would have been better for him, for the both of us. 

I remembered the night we had stolen the artifacts. I had hugged Hiei, and when he had begged me not to use the mirror, I hadn't discouraged him. I hadn't encouraged him, either, but I had made no move to pull away. I had made so many mistakes, what there any way to fix them?

__

No.

"Hiei, I'm sorry. I should have done something—" I looked helplessly at the fire demon. 

"Apologizes don't mean a thing, Kurama. They are just weak excuses."

I sighed. "When you use the Mirror of Utter Dark, it reflects your greatest desire. When I first looked at the mirror, it wasn't my mother that I saw. It was you." I reached forward to touch the fire demon's cheek, but he pulled back, a look of terror on his face. 

"You're too late, Kurama. You didn't do anything to stop the pain, so I did." All because of me...I didn't deserve to live. 

Hiei left through the window in a flash. I felt that he was gone. Forever. 

Then there was the pain, tearing at my heart. And the tears, pouring down my face. I heard my mother stir and the tears came faster, because I knew that my tears were not for my mother, but for a lost youkai.

And the ice cream was melting.

Translations

Hai: yes (Japanese)

Arigato: thank you (Japanese)

Okay, not fluffy, just...depressing. Bad. Ya know, the usual junk. Anyway, it's poll time again! Yay! **Violettegal345** suggested that I make this fic last until the end of the Dark Tournament. I'd be glad to do so, but I'm really into audience opinions. So... REVIEW away!

Once again, **_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _**I really can't say how extremely happy and amazed I am, but really... I'm starting to sound repetitive and lame now, so...yeah. *goes off to have random thoughts*

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	5. ChocolateChip Cookie Dough

Well, um, here's the next chapter. Yeah. My writing is deteriorating. Once again, **_ARIGATO FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_** **_I CANNOT BELIVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU REVIEWERS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_** This chapter is dedicated to all my wonderful reviewers, and the nameless COX guy who installed the fast Internet connection at my house. Although he isn't reading this fic, I felt the need to thank him. Besides, he gave me a lolly-pop. ^___^ 

I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I skipped Yusuke's fight with Hiei in this story, so please don't review telling me that, because I _know_. Maybe some chapter later in the far-off future I'll get around to a flashback. And I guess if enough people want, I'd write a chapter with that fight. I just didn't think it would benefit the non-existent plot any. *shrugs* Onward!

WARNING: Insert traditional **_SHOUNEN-AI_** and extra-special suckiness warning here. 

DISCLAIMER: I own _Yu Yu Hakusho_. And I finally got good at writing. Doesn't that one alone tell you that I don't own this beautiful series?

__

Chocolate-Chip-Cookie-Dough

Silence. Hiei and I were standing in Koenma's office, waiting for the demi-god to decide what to do with us. Strangely, though, he wasn't even in sight. 

Yusuke had defeated the fire demon only a few hours ago. And I had helped him, though I don't know why. Maybe I had just wanted to see Hiei again... I touched the wound on my stomach absently and flinched as pain shot through my body. At least I had had time to bandage the cut. Hopefully no one back in Ningenkai would notice.

"Hiei," I whispered, "I'm sorry." 

The fire demon stared straight ahead, not sparing me a glance. He didn't even acknowledge my words.

"Hiei," I whispered again.

Koenma's head suddenly popped up from behind a mountain of paperwork. "You're here already?" He stopped to clamber onto his desk, and then jumped back down into his chair when he saw that neither of us had any wards on. "Well then, let's get this over with." The toddler looked at a few of his papers. "Hm. Youko Kurama... You are under arrest for stealing the Mirror of Utter Dark, stealing the body of a human child–" My hands tightened into fists at that accusation. "–and...uh...other such...illegal actions," Koenma continued, watching me over the top of the paper. "_However_, you have been a very good boy in the last 15 years." My nails dug into my flesh sharply. "The usual sentence for someone as dangerous as you would be a thousand years in the Reikai prison. But I'm putting you on parole. To be exact, you must assist Yusuke in any missions he has, henceforth." I breathed in a sigh of relief and unclenched my fists. At least I would be able to stay in the human world with my mother. 

The toddler turned his gaze towards Hiei, his expression hardening into one of hatred, matching Hiei's own cold stare. I shivered. "As for you, _Hiei_," Koenma spat, taking pleasure in speaking the words slowly and quietly, as if they would prolong the suspense, "you are going to be serving a seven-hundred year sentence in the Reikai prison. No parole. No exceptions." 

Shit. The mask of indifference I had been wearing shattered. "Is there any other way for him to carry out his sentence?" I demanded. My voice sounded so desperate. I never knew I cared about the fire demon that much.

"I don't need your help, fox," Hiei snapped at me.

He had every right to be mad, I knew. For what I had done to him, he had every right not to ever want to see me again. But that didn't bother me. My mind was just focused on finding a more lenient punishment for the half-Koorime. He wouldn't survive seven-hundred years in prison. He probably wouldn't even be able to survive fifty.

"Kurama!" Koenma spoke. "You're dismissed. Go back to Ningenkai."

I opened my mouth to protest again, but Hiei shot me a look of unmistakable loathing. Everything was my fault… As I turned to leave the room, I glanced back at Hiei one last time. 

His eyes were as hateful as before. 

And I knew that saving Shiori wasn't enough. 

"Suuichi? Is that you?" I shut the door behind me as I entered the house and slipped off my shoes.

"_Hai,_" I called, running over to the kitchen where my mother was cooking.

"Where have you been all day? I was worried. It's almost five o'clock." Shiori planted a kiss on my cheek.

"I was just out at the park," I lied. "I'm sorry I didn't come home earlier, Mother, but I saw one of my classmates there and stayed to talk a bit."

"Oh! I almost forgot. A friend of yours is waiting for you upstairs in your room."

Hiei...? No, it couldn't be.

"Yusuke, I think his name is," my mother finished. 

Oh.

I nodded, wondering silently what Yusuke wanted to see me for. "Are you sure you are all right? I don't want you to over-exert yourself," I warned. But no harm would come to her, I knew, thanks to the Mirror of Utter Dark. I blocked the next thought before it even entered my mind. 

Yusuke was sitting at my desk, scanning through the homework that I had been too agitated to put away neatly. 

"Make yourself at home," I said dryly as I walked into the room.

The Spirit Detective whirled around in my swivel chair. "Oh, hey, Kurama–I mean, Suuichi– What are you, the perfect student with an evil double-life?" he asked jokingly.

"No," I replied quietly and closed the door, "just a fool."

"Uh…" Yusuke looked at me strangely for a moment, and then shrugged. "So, how'd it go?"

"What?" 

"You know, Koenma and all..." he replied evasively.

I sighed and flopped down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. "Fine."

"Are you going to be able to stay here, with your mother?"

"Yes. I'm on parole." I paused. "And I have to help you with all of your cases as Spirit Detective. So I guess we are going to be a team." Usually, I would have smiled encouragingly. But I didn't. I couldn't. 

"Great. I could use some help. Botan doesn't really do much, and that idiot Kuwabara is only good at that 'spirit awareness' thing, whatever the hell that is." Yusuke shrugged again and laughed. I didn't. The laughter was cut off abruptly, though, and he asked, "What about Hiei?"

My eyes hardened. "Seven hundred years in the Reikai prison." 

"Oh... Look, Kurama, I'm sorry. Really, I am," the Spirit Detective said nervously.

"What do you care?" I snarled angrily and sat bolt upright. 

"Whoa, cool it, Kurama." Yusuke held up his hands in innocence. "I just thought you cared about him, so... I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't."

He blinked. "Huh?"

"You're not sorry. Hiei almost killed Kieko. How can you be sorry?" I demanded.

"Uh..."

I breathed deeply and shook my head. "Forgive me, Yusuke. It's been a long day, and I'm tired."

Yusuke nodded. "Okay, then. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow...?"

"Yeah." I fell back down on my bed. 

"_Ja_," Yusuke said as he left the room.

"_Ja,,_" I replied quietly and closed my eyes. The door slammed shut.

__

Two crimson orbs were staring straight at me. 

Hiei...?

They were aflame. And Hiei was burning. And all I could do was sit there and watch. The fire grew stronger and brighter, brighter, like the sun...

Someone was calling me back from the flames. And those eyes that burned...

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the light and the voice. I needed to know what happened to Hiei... "Suuichi, Suuichi, wake up!" Groggily, I opened my eyes. 

"Mother?" I said weakly, closing my eyes again.

"What have you been doing to yourself?" Shiori scolded.

"H'm?" I murmured and turned over on my side.

"How did you get such a large wound?" 

What was she talking about? Oh, the wound. From fighting Hiei. I sat up, shaking my head. There was a large stain of blood on my shirt. I winced at my own stupidity. How had I not remembered to change the bandaging? I shrugged helplessly. "_Eeto_..." 

"I thought you were at the park yesterday. How did you get _this_ at the park?" My mother jabbed her finger at the wound in my stomach.

__

Oh, that's nothing, Mother. I just stopped the demon I'm in love with from killing someone who was out to arrest him for stealing one of the Reikai artifacts. I almost laughed at the thought of saying that aloud. "Um... I–I was attacked by a mugger." Damn, I was out of practice. That lie didn't sound convincing in the least, even to my ears.

Shiori raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I'm going to schedule an appointment with the doctor. That wound might be infected." She turned to leave. "I'll bring you up some ice cream. You never had dinner last night." 

I sighed in relief and slumped back against the wall once my mother had left the room, listening to my own heartbeat. How had I been so stupid? _Baka!_

No, not _baka_. _Baka kitusune_.

__

Shut up! I screamed to myself. _Shut up!_

"Here you go, Suuichi. Someone seems to have eaten all the chocolate ice cream, so I had to go buy some more." I looked up at my mother's smiling face and took the bowl of ice cream she offered me. "I'm going to go call the doctor now. You just rest." Her smile faded. "I can't believe some people would attack a helpless teenager," she muttered under her breath and walked out of the room.

I looked down at the ice cream. My mother trusted me so much. And I used that trust to my own advantage, for my own selfish purposes. I didn't deserve to live.

It was hot, and the ice cream was melting. Like it had been melting that night in the hospital... Chocolate-chip-cookie-dough. Did Hiei really hate strawberry ice cream, or was it just because of me? Maybe Hiei would have liked this. But I would never know, would I? I would never know unless I saw him again. And what were the chances of that? He was locked away in the Reikai prison.

...He was locked away in the Reikai prison. And _I_ was Youko Kurama, the best thief in the Makai. And I could get him out.

__

No, part of me said. _You're on parole. If you break into the Reikai prison, you'll never be allowed to come back to Ningenkai. Never_.

__

But this is Hiei. I can't just let him die.

Yes, you can. What about your mother? Would you just abandon her for some fire demon you barely know?

…Yes. That's how frightening love—whatever I felt for Hiei—can be. 

__

What?! You'd just abandon the woman who raised you and loved you for the first fifteen years of your life? You really haven't changed since your days as Youko. You're the exact same cold, heartless creature that murdered this innocent woman's baby right in her womb. 

I stiffened. _I didn't murder him. _

Yes, you did. And you know it. 

No. I merged. He's part of me. He's you. Part of my mind.

And what's the other part?

Youko. 

And what are you?

I started and looked at the ice cream. …_I'm in love._

Translations

Hai: yes (Japanese)

Ja: see you later (Japanese)

Eeto: um/uh/eh (Japanese)

Baka: idiot (Japanese)

Kitsune: fox/fox demon (Japanese)

Who-hoo! Pathetic attempt at something remotely similar to dramatic for an ending! Cheesy, sucky, pathetic—*stops* Nu, ran out of synonyms already. Hehe. ^^;

Koenma and Shiori were scarily OOC.

Oh, yes, and **Violettegal345 **wins! *throws confetti in the air* Thank you all who voted in this never-ending poll of mine. ^__^ To the end of the Dark Tournament it is. YAY!!! Just saying, at the slow rate I am going, it will take me a very, VERY, VERY long time to get that far. Oh well, I'm sure I'll do it eventually. ^______^ 

Again, I cannot believe how many wonderful reviews I have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **_*glomps all reviewers and hands out custom-made Kurama and Hiei plushies*_** Need I say it? I LOVE YOU GUYS, and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. The Dreaded Author's Notes

Hello, everyone. This is just an Author's Notes thing, in case you didn't get it by the non-chapter chapter title. Or whatever it's called. Anyway, just clarifying that. Like we didn't figure it out already. And, I'm sad to say, this isn't one of those: "Help-me-I-need-inspiration!" Author's Notes things. It's the dreaded kind that every reviewer/reader fears. 

Yup, you got it. _Sweet Snow_ is temporarily—or even possibly permanently—discontinued. 

I want to express my sincerest apologies to **Violettegal345**, because I promised her that this fic would last until the end of the Dark Tournament. You have every right to kill me. In fact, everyone out there has every right to kill me. It's pathetic, I'm discontinuing a fic that doesn't even have a decent number of chapters yet. So I want to say I'm extremely sorry, and that might not mean anything, but I want to say it anyway.

Sadly, no amount of begging will make me continue this fic. Okay, so maybe enough begging might give me a spurt of inspiration for a moment or two. But don't keep your hopes up. Yes, I'm stopping writing for "personal reasons". My friend deserves more attention than my fanfics, and I don't think she is getting it. I'm having all sorts of other social issues—curse my evil family heritage of anti-social-ness!—plus my grades. It's not too much. It's just that I'm too lazy. 

Let me sum it up for you in a few simple, short sentences:

_Sweet Snow_ is being discontinued. Why? It doesn't matter. I'm terribly sorry to everyone if I got your hopes up, and for breaking my promises. Thank you so much for reading the pathetic remains of this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like that matters. I'm going through a minor depression thing now. 

Maybe someday _Sweet Snow_ will magically revive. And I'm not done writing fanfiction period. ^__^ I hope. 

This should have just been a one-shot. 

Love,

__

Shikibu

And the Yankees lost. :( The world is not going my way. 


End file.
